Well, I’m back from a wonderful family vacation in the Berkshire Mountains in Western MA. Overall, it was a great trip, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have its moments of stress. One thing I realized is how important it is to make your needs known to others. Why? Because when we don’t, there is potential that our needs won’t be met, and this is a setup for a pity party. Many emotional eaters engage in pity parties and eat lots of foods that cause them to feel guilty and ashamed afterwards. This chips away at our self-esteem, makes us feel out-of-control, and helpless. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to feel any of those emotions anymore! I want to feel empowered by my choices and not diminished by them!!
So, we’re in the beautiful mountains enjoying the fresh air and scenery and within two days we’re heading to Boston, MA for two days. Now, I agreed to this trip so I was not surprised, but the truth is, I never really wanted to go. I was hoping that once we got to the mountains, we’d all be perfectly happy there and not feel the need to drive three hours to Boston. This was not the case. What happened when we got to Boston? I was fatigued and found myself frustrated by all the noises, people, odors, etc. In addition, our son was in sensory overload and this never helps matters!
Back in the day, this would have been a perfect opportunity to have a pity party and invite my closest friends, (ginormous sandwich, cake, and cookies) but then I remembered that I don’t do that kinda stuff anymore! So, I had to adapt. I had to really dig down deep and figure out what was really eating at me. Was it the city noise or was it the fact that my needs weren’t being met? Did I want this visit to Boston, which was the first for my son, to be remembered because of all the food I consumed and my cranky mood or because of the sites I enjoyed seeing with my family? Once I got in touch with my feelings, I was free and began to enjoy my trip more.
I learned a valuable lesson on this vacation. I must be more clear with my family about my needs. I needed to have more cuddle time with my son, enjoy the solitude of mountains, and just spend time together in a quiet place. Once we got back to the Berkshires, and after a good nights sleep, I was able to express my feelings clearly to my husband. What a relief it was to get it all out! To finally say what I needed was so freeing. We all agreed to spend the next two days relaxing at the resort and enjoy the quiet time together as a family. When all was said and done, I did enjoy Boston. In hindsight, I don’t regret going, but I feel strongly that if I didn’t have the quiet family time those two days following our trip, I would have felt deprived and resentful. Those are not feelings I want to engage in if I can help it!
Are you clear about your needs with yourself and your loved ones?
When your needs are not met, do you find yourself getting “itchy” for something to eat?
Do you think your needs are important and that you have a right to express them?
What would it be like to express your needs?