My day started out really well this morning. After all, it’s Friday, I get to wear jeans to work, I’m wearing my fave pink hoodie from our Maine family vacation, and my smoothie this morning was spectacular!
My day continued to improve when two colleagues complimented me on my new blog and shared how they could relate to the Gratitude and the Organic Apple blog post. They really made my day! Plus, I was about to meet an important deadline, and I was relieved!
Well, by now I’m literally skipping toward my daily lunchtime workout thinking “See, you’ve been down because you don’t think anyone is ever going to read your blog, and now you know at least two people have read it! I began to think, “Perhaps I should just go home now before anything bad happens!” But, alas, I was at work and needed to continue on with my workday and wanted to get in a good workout before the weekend.
Well, as soon as I walked into the locker room my nemesis, the SCALE, was staring me in the face. Not just any old scale, but a full-blown doctors scale!! It had been a long time since I’d weighed myself and I was kinda curious. But, I knew if I stepped on that scale it could ruin my whole day, so I continued to get ready for my workout.
To get ready for cycling this season, I’m doing some cross training and decided to try out some different equipment today. When I jumped on the stair climber, having not been on one of these contraptions in years, I had forgotten that it asks a lot of questions before allowing you to begin your workout! Questions like:
Q: How long do you want to workout?
A: Since “Until I get bored” was not available, I chose 5 minutes because I had already ridden the Expresso bike for four miles.
A: Since I had no idea how many levels there were and it wasn’t volunteering this information, and “Baby Level” was not available, I chose Level 5.
A: My first thought was “None of your business.” My second thought was, “I have no idea.” For a moment I wanted to run back into the locker room and weigh myself, then I decided to leave the weight at the default number and started stepping.
The reason why I have no idea is because I decided a long time ago that weighing myself is not good for my mental health. I’ve been on a diet since I was about 10. I’ve lost and gained substantial amounts of weight so many times that I used to need two closets to house all my different sized clothes. No kidding! I’ve gone as high as a size 18 and as low as a size 5. I used to go up and down the scale like fingers on a keyboard! I’ve been on countless diets and consider myself a “foodie.” I’ve lusted for and used food as an anesthetic for years before the term “comfort food” was popular.
Since I began my veggie journey in October 2011, I know that I’ve lost weight because my clothes are very roomy and people often tell me that I look thinner, but I don’t know the magic number. When people ask me how much I’ve lost, and I tell them I don’t know, they look at me incredulously with crossed-eyes. For the record, that’s not a good look!
I’ve learned over the years that no matter what the number on the scale is, it’s never good enough. If it’s lower than I thought, I get over excited and feel the need to “treat” myself to something that will not serve me well. If it’s higher than I expected, I get depressed and think that I’m eating too much and begin to make rash dietary changes that also will not serve me well either. So why bother?
The truth is, I know when I’m at an ideal weight. I don’t need a silly scale to tell me that. When I’m being honest with myself, making sensible food choices, eating “normal” portion sizes, exercising regularly, drinking enough water, and managing my stress (which is directly linked to my food intake), my weight is generally stable and my clothes fit as intended.
I choose to love myself today by not allowing that number to taint my day. If you are looking to loose weight, I sincerely hope that you think about what I’ve written in this post. For me, honest, “clean” eating is the only way to successful weight loss and maintenance not a number on a scale.